
Her lips taste like cigarette smoke
even from a thousand miles away.
Her eyes smolder whistfully in my memory like tobacco ashes,
ashes that her eyelids would flick deftly from her cheeks
to the pavement at random intervals
under both cloudy or clear skies.
Her soul burning slowly down to the filter
until there is nothing left
and whether cloudy or clear
the ash-touched sky
tastes like regret.
Photo by Peri Stojnic on Unsplash
On DVerse the prompt is to write about an emotion or abstract concept. What does it taste like?
This is a great ‘abstract’ response to the challenge! Cheers ………
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Haha thank you 🙂 I couldn’t think of a way to incorporate fruit….maybe the Apple and Eve. Maybe I’ll edit the poem, who knows! haha
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This is a powerful poem, nicely done!
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Thank you very much!!
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I really like what you’ve done here with repetition of “cloudy or clear” skies. She’s a mysterious one and you leave us with more to wonder about when “the ash-touched sky tastes like regret”. Nicely done! By the way, tobacco does bear fruit so technically you included it 😉
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haha good point, I’m gonna use that last line if anyone says I’m off script 🤣🤣
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This is out-of-the-box response to the prompt, leaving the “ash of regret” as a great line!!!
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Thank you!@
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Wow, Evan. I had to read this several times because I just loved it so much!
💝
David
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I’m glad you enjoyed it, thank you for reading!!
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Thank you!!
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I do love how you described the emotion, the scent of stale tobacco and smoke is far from pleasant so this relationship has gone south.
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Indeed, the after smell of burnt tobacco is not often a pleasant one
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Fantastic extended metaphor. “Her soul burning slowly down to the filter” — what an emotional line!
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Thank you@
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Thank you!
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